Understanding Oneself

People may think that they know who they are from an early age but in my experience it can take a long time to figure yourself out.  I went through years of self hatred and anger but once I learned and accepted who I am I have become a happier person.  Sure there are people who try and shoot me down, which can sometimes be hard since some are family, but I've learned to try and just brush it off.  I fought for years against myself  in order to be the person everyone wanted me to be but not anymore.  I finally understand who I am and that I can't do anything to change it and in that knowledge I have found more happiness and contentment than I've ever had before.  I like who I am.  I am still learning and one day I may be more open but for now I feel no need to shout anything from the rooftops but I'm not hiding either.

Ode to Teachers

I AM SORRY!!  I'm sorry for not paying attention to everything you said.  I'm sorry for goofing off with the person next to me an disrupting the whole class.  I'm sorry for sometimes ignoring what you said because I thought I knew better.  I'm sorry for asking questions on the homework when I didn't even read any of the instructions.  I'm just sorry.

Now that I realize what it is like to teach I've looked back over my own educational experience and I wonder just how much like the students I have now I was like.  I can't help but feel like I was a somewhat decent student but there are times that I wonder.  Just the thought that I was ever that kid that doesn't pay attention, thinks they know all the answers, and distracts the students around them, I would feel bad.  I can't change the past but now that I know what my teachers went through I can't help but apologize for us all.  The first day after class I went up to one of my teacher and apologized.  She didn't understand at first but she laughed at me afterwards.  It still feels good to know that you are teaching people things they never knew before so I guess teaching isn't all bad.  It does have it's high points.

Remembering

It was the theme of the week, with the university hosting many different events that were centered around what happened 10 years ago today.  All you have to say is September 11 and everyone knows what you are talking about.  Sometimes I wonder if too much is put into remembering such an event but I believe the better way to look at it is the senseless loss of too many lives.  I'm not into politics and I'm not for war but I do believe Bush did the best job he knew how (whether it was swayed or not) and though I may not like war, it happened and the troops deserve all the support we can give.  Whether you were against the war or not, you should still support the troops.  Everyone is recalling how they heard and what it was like for them.  I don't think my story is anything special and was kinda against telling it but I have decided to anyways.  A lot of innocent people lost their lives and through every reminder of that day their lost lives will serve the purpose of reminding us of the bigger picture in this world.

People all over the country are retelling the story about what happened on that day.  We of us that weren't in the cities affected went through a similar story.  Disbelief, plain and simple.  10 years ago I was 16, in my second to last year of high school and felt I had the world at my feet.  I was in math class when I heard what happened and it really didn't sink in until later what this event would cause.  It feels like yesterday that it happened yet at the same time it feels like ages ago.  Since then I have graduated high school, gotten a BBA and almost completed a master's degree.  But I will always remember that day.  For some reason after school I was sitting in the car outside of a bookstore listening to the radio.  All I can remember them saying over and over again is that all planes were grounded and them speculating on what happened.  It was late in the day since school was out so the news had moved on a little from the actual event.  When I got home I ended up watching the new with my Gram and her homemakers and listening to them tell their view on the situation.  I think I only half listened to all this as for me it's hard to take anything serious that is shown on tv.  Guess I'm just the disbelieving type of person unless I see it face to face.  I did wonder about my uncle, who lives in NY but somehow I learned that he was alright.  The gravity of what happened did eventually sink in but it took a while.

My view on what has happened since then doesn't matter today and neither does anyone else's.  Today is about the people who lost their lives and nothing else.  Those who use memorial days like today for political gain have no respect for anyone else.  What happened, happened.  It can't be changed yet we can grow from it and that is what everyone needs to do.  Show respect for those who lost their lives that day and those who have since lost their lives and continue to do so in order to keep us safe.