Amazing day!

I feel kinda odd because I'm not used to this feeling.  I had a great day and not much really happened and there was a lot of stress involved but it was still great.  I guess it started with a message from someone I didn't expect to hear.  I didn't think she knew it was going to by my birthday but somehow she knew and sent me the sweetest message ever and it totally made my day.  It's odd how something as simple as an email can affect my day.  I guess it really has to do with the person.  I'm not really sure how I feel about her but I do know that she has wiggled her way into my life and become important to me.  She was the last person I expected to hear from since I know she is really busy, her days seem to run into each other so her actually knowing what day it is is impressive, and I don't remember telling her when my bday was.  I guess I did tell her a while ago and somehow she remembered.  I feel like a little kid or something cause I've been happy all day.  The smile keeps coming back and I just feel good.  I don't understand it but I'm not going to complain just yet.  Someday... Someday...

Insomniac?

I've always had a hard time sleeping and it doesn't seem like it's going to get better anytime soon.  Everyone loves to tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I should do to make sure I can sleep but at this point I really don't listen anymore.  They say exercise more, don't eat at certain times, just lay there and let yourself drift off, go to bed at normal times and make yourself wake up early and all that kind of crap.  I say crap cause I actually went through a time when I listened to what other people said.  Yeah, go figure, me listen to people.  Anyways, either way I exercise every day now and I still don't sleep well.  I don't eat late at night and I still don't sleep well.  I've made myself go to bed at normal times, making myself stop doing homework at certain times and I have my alarm clock wake me up every morning at the same time.  The only result that I got out of that was being very cranky for a long time.  I still stop myself from doing homework late into the night cause inevitably when I read what I did the night before none of it makes sense.  So it's not like I stay up all night doing homework.  I still have my alarm go off in the morning to wake me but that does nothing except make me lag all day.  I hate how people think that they have all the answers for me and if I just followed what they say it will all turn out great.  I could go on about that for a long time but I don't feel the need to right now.  I used to take sleeping pills and they worked for a little bit but then they stopped.  Now I don't bother with anything and just hope that when I get a job it will have really flexible hours.  I hate not being able to sleep.  I will lay there and look up at the ceiling wondering why I'm not tired all of the sudden.  At that point in time I really wish that I had someone to talk to but of course most people are sleeping.  It sucks to be the only one awake at such a time.  So lonely...

Homesick

I thought that being homesick was something that only little kids got when they were away from their family.  I thought I would have outgrown it but that doesn't seem to be the case.  Sure enough, a few days before I will go home it hits me.  I miss my family.  It's not like I don't have people here at school that are like family, but it's not the same.  I miss my Mum and Dad, it's odd cause it wasn't that long ago that I swore I hated them with every fiber in my being, but not anymore.  I've grown up and I realize just how important they are.  I also miss my sister even though she always teases me and tries to annoy me to no end.  She has changed so much over the years it's hard to remember when we were in school together.  She has turned into this awesome person who is the greatest mom ever who you can tell that her kids mean the world to her.  Then there is my younger brother, he is a pest but I miss him too.  I loved it when we were actually going to the same university.  I got him for a few hours one day a week and I looked forward to that day all week.  He has grown up so much too, it has taken some time to get used to the fact he isn't a little boy anymore.  He is the best brother ever and I am so proud of him and all that he has accomplished so far.  I'm sure bigger and better things are yet to come.  Then there are my nieces.  I love them to pieces and it's always a thrill to see them.  They are in my head the whole time when I drive home.  They put an little extra speed in me.  I can't wait to have a little nephew too and hope he comes while I'm at home.  Last but not least there is my friend.  Friend is an odd term to use but I can't really think of anything that would be better.  She is basically a sister.  I can talk to her about anything and everything and she doesn't care.  She never judges me or get annoyed with me.  Her kid is like another niece to me too.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much being away.  The girls are always growing and there is always something going on.  Even though I will see them all in about 5 days, it couldn't be soon enough.  They are all my family and they mean the world to me and I miss them all the time.