Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Insomniac?

I've always had a hard time sleeping and it doesn't seem like it's going to get better anytime soon.  Everyone loves to tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I should do to make sure I can sleep but at this point I really don't listen anymore.  They say exercise more, don't eat at certain times, just lay there and let yourself drift off, go to bed at normal times and make yourself wake up early and all that kind of crap.  I say crap cause I actually went through a time when I listened to what other people said.  Yeah, go figure, me listen to people.  Anyways, either way I exercise every day now and I still don't sleep well.  I don't eat late at night and I still don't sleep well.  I've made myself go to bed at normal times, making myself stop doing homework at certain times and I have my alarm clock wake me up every morning at the same time.  The only result that I got out of that was being very cranky for a long time.  I still stop myself from doing homework late into the night cause inevitably when I read what I did the night before none of it makes sense.  So it's not like I stay up all night doing homework.  I still have my alarm go off in the morning to wake me but that does nothing except make me lag all day.  I hate how people think that they have all the answers for me and if I just followed what they say it will all turn out great.  I could go on about that for a long time but I don't feel the need to right now.  I used to take sleeping pills and they worked for a little bit but then they stopped.  Now I don't bother with anything and just hope that when I get a job it will have really flexible hours.  I hate not being able to sleep.  I will lay there and look up at the ceiling wondering why I'm not tired all of the sudden.  At that point in time I really wish that I had someone to talk to but of course most people are sleeping.  It sucks to be the only one awake at such a time.  So lonely...

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